How Come on Funnyjunk Youll Never See an Image Again
Policy —
FunnyJunk lawyer's wife wades into fray, calls critics "nazi scumbags"
Meanwhile, married man Charles pens angry poems defending his mom.
Charles Carreon, the Tucson lawyer currently suing Oatmeal creator Matt Inman, the National Wild animals Foundation, the American Cancer Society, and anyone impersonating him on Twitter, is something of a poet. (And, when we spoke to him last calendar week, we learned that he loves The Ramones.)
So when Inman cranked out his infamous cartoon of a mom seducing a Kodiak bear, Carreon took his displeasure to the blank folio and churned out "Don't Mess With My Mom."
In case the subtext here wasn't clear, Carreon dedicated the verses to "Matthew Inman of the Oatmeal." Hither'south a small hors d'oeuvre—simply imagine the lines set to a pumping, palm-muted set up of power chords.
Your allies are the fools
Who cutting and paste all day.
They think they're important,
But their anger is impotent.
They say nasty things,
Just they don't get paid.
Their ignorance is deep,
Then ya' get 'em on the cheap.Your sense of humour's scatological,
Your mind is pathological.
Did someone drop you on your caput,
When you were in your baby-bed?
Did they take abroad your rattle,
And teach you how to tattle?Any the reason,
You have committed treason
Confronting decency and sanity,
You're offensive to humanity.
Carreon and his wife, Tara, are furious about Inman'southward online campaign, which was designed to mock Carreon and his initial need that Inman pay $twenty,000 for allegedly defaming a client. And they're fifty-fifty angrier near the beliefs of Inman's followers and supporters, who take been peppering the Carreons with east-mails that say things like:
Yous are the biggest fucking asshole I have ever seen. I hope you do the world a favor and die soon.
Others accept taken Carreon's pretty-easy-to-find due east-mail address and signed him upwardly for all sorts of things, including Club Nintendo, the Olive Garden newsletter, and porn sites like Tube8. The prospect of having a Tube8 user business relationship linked to his e-mail address terrifies Carreon. As he put it in his amended legal complaint this week:
On Tube8.com, members are allowed to "upload" explicit sexual images and video. Thus, Does 2 -100 have the ability to upload child pornography to Tube8.com, using Plaintiff's proper noun, that could atomic number 82 to his criminal prosecution. Criminal prosecution for kid pornography is swift and devastating, oft resulting in the seizure of a defendant's computers, the full destruction of their livelihood, long terms of imprisonment, and the total ruination of the defendant'southward life. Indeed, filing this action is the only style to testify, conveniently and quickly to investigating constabulary enforcement, that Plaintiff is not a Tube8.com user.
Convinced that Inman has been instigating the madness, Carreon has sued him for inciting "cyber-vandalism." And he continues to struggle with the mystery that is Matt Inman'south popularity—as in his follow-up verse form, "Psycho Santa":
His prehistoric origin's a mystery—
Did he escape from the lavatory?
Was he made by the Pentagon and NSA
A living drone that shoots mind rays,
Makin' zombies of his followers—
Internet slaves!
What nosotros need, Carreon says—and it'south hard to disagree—is "thoughtful people / Who are decent and sincere."
Unfortunately, decency and thought announced to be in short supply. In a five-page thread on her website The Ralph Nader Library, Tara Carreon has spent the last ten days tearing into her husband'south detractors. If you want to understand the Carreons' worldview—and why the suit confronting Inman goes alee—it's an enlightening read. It may also teach you some brand new insults.
It'due south likewise a reminder—ever useful on the Internet—that real people sit down at the computers behind e-mail and Twitter accounts. And sometimes those people get very, very upset.
One view of Carreon, from his critics.
"Nazi scumbags"
Complaining about "Mike Masnick Retard Wannabe Lawyer Author at TechDirt" and his commenters, Tara Carreon disagrees with the view that much of the hate directed at the Carreons is typically over-the-top, unserious Internet ranting. No, she says that hyperbolic denunciations like those directed at Carreon dehumanize one's opponents and ready the way for bodily violence. (Carreon has made the same merits in interviews.) And you know who else engaged in hyperbolic denunciations? Hitler.
These Techdirt nazi scumbags are doing to Charles what they did to the Jewish lawyers in Nazi Germany. Accusing him of greed and being responsible for the entire economic mess that our state is in. I mean, that is crazy!...
In add-on to working for himself, Charles is working for You the People on this one, because who in the world would want this to happen to them? It's a very, very bad thing that'south happening on the Internet right at present to u.s.a., and it could happen to yous. They're fifty-fifty threatening our children. I girl was and then violent and threatening, said she was going to make my girl lose her chore, that she had to accept the entire chat to her HR director. These people are BAD, BAD PEOPLE, these Matt Inman people. They are truthful Internet terrorists. I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't involve a lot of the Anonymous people.
Tara was reacting to commenters who complain that Carreon contributes "null to society" and then say things like:
Your ego and greed are the reason millions are out of work right now. You are a contemptible butt babe that managed to live from out of the anus of mankind, polluting our lives with pre-restraint of our ain imaginations and paranoia for those who take already created cute things. If I had 10+ billion dollars I would try to forcibly use you every bit a infinite monkey for early colonization of Mars, at to the lowest degree then we'd get valuable data out of your pathetic existence.
And to such commentators, Tara gave as well equally she got. "This is one of the little lying bitches working for Matt Inman," Tara wrote about an plainly female person commenter. In an exchange with another online commenter, Tara "jokingly" (her words) threatened that Carreon might subpoena him and search his hard drive. The bewildered commenter asked why he might possibly be subpoenaed. Tara replied:
For all of that illegal content on your hard drive. You'll have to seek a protective order to keep your porn stash private. What's your preference—het, gay, bi, BDSM?
The commenter responded, "Look. Did you just vaguely threaten to attempt and out me to the full general public using a subpoena and apply that every bit a tool to embarrass and humiliate me? WOW. You, darling, have sunk lower than your husband."
Tara responded by pointing the commenter to an "archive of Italian spanking imagery, and to its screencap gallery of the lesbian chains classic scene from Sexus, original music by Chet Baker, directed by Jose Benazaref, and you lot tell me which you lot like better." [Tara posts hundreds of screencaps from films, often with subtitles.]
This is a fight that is rapidly regressing into truly mean territory; if there'due south a high road, everyone involved appears to have lost sight of it. Piled on by random Internet e-mailers and commenters, Tara kept lashing out, often against Inman personally. "You lot are a cancer, Matt Inman," she wrote.
This assault against FunnyJunk and Charles Carreon is an attack against law and order. Matt Inman is an Internet anarchist. Fascists always love an anarchist.
And the claims got odder over time. Who, she wondered, was behind this Matt Inman guy, anyhow?
I don't know why we can't get a simple yes or no from ANYONE about whether Matt Robert Inman is related to [retired US admiral and intelligence agent] Bobby Ray Inman. Manifestly, every announcer in the world doesn't seem to call up that knowing WHO Matt Inman is is important. He's a human without parents, brothers and sisters, or childhood friends. A man without a past, only like Barack Obama. Sure, there's lots of famous people like that in the world! Usually, they are children of Intelligence Agents, or Intelligence Agents themselves.
Or, you know, mobsters. "What kind of connections does someone have in the world to exist this arrogant towards a lawyer?" she asked. "Think about it. Inman is WELL-CONNECTED! To me, that only means one thing: mafia."
Source: https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2012/06/funnyjunk-lawyers-wife-wades-into-fray-calls-critics-nazi-scumbags/
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